When you follow this blog for a while, you probably know that I really love photography and traveling. I wish I could work fulltime as a freelance photographer and could travel the world. The perfect combination if you tell me. Unfortunately it’s not possible for me yet to work as a freelance photographer fulltime, because I need an extra job for a steady income. While I work somewhere else, I try to do as much as I can with my photography. At the moment I mostly try to expand my connections by creating free work and getting my work noticed on social media. Connections are really important in the fashion and photography world. You can have so much talent, but if you don’t have the connections it won’t be a big success. I could choose to be a fulltime photographer now and quit the job, so I would be fully focused on my photography business. It’s a risk I don’t dare to take yet, but it’s a goal for that I’d like to accomplish in a few years. It takes some time (and perseverance) to grow your business, but I need some savings first.
My other goal is to go on a big trip to Asia, hopefully in a few years. Sander doesn’t want it. He does want to go on holiday with me but not outside Europe, because of the long distances and fear of flying. It’s a conscious choice that I make to get away with him while in between I’m trying to save money for my big trip. I’m aware of it that it will take me way more time till I have enough money. But I think it’s selfish if I would only save money for this and wouldn’t get away with Sander, while he does wants it. A positive note: I keep seeing beautiful places because of this. Europe has a lot to offer and has so many beautiful places. You can make it as expensive as you want. But what is exactly my point of this article? I’m going off topic..
A few months ago I had a job application for a full time function as a photographer. If I would have this job, it would mean I finally have stable income (and especially more than I have now). Saving money for my Asia trip would go faster for example. I would get some experience, because it’s a photography job and my current job isn’t. I would get some trainee ships for photography techniques in the studio and how to work with people. I was really excited and I made it to the second round and I even made a good chance. But I would have given up my own photography. I still could make some free work if I even had the time for it, but I couldn’t accept payed jobs as a freelancer. When I would do that, I’m a competitor, which I can understand. I make free work because I freaking love it, but my goal is to become a successful photographer. A few days after the job application I really had an awesome photoshoot (in June I can finally show the results of it) and I got a request for a payed job. I was thinking things like: ‘Shit, I have to give this up. I can’t and I don’t want that at all. I just started my business one year ago.’ I could have chosen to do this job for a few years and go further with my business after that period. In my opinion I would have failed, because I wouldn’t have given my business a chance to grow. As you can guess: I didn’t take the job. It would have been different if it was a part time job and if I still could have my business. The only thing I regret is the stable income. At my current job, I have different hours every week. Sometimes a lot, sometimes not and that makes me a little bit insecure. But for the rest, I really don’t regret it. I’m really happy I can continue with my business.
If there’s something I’ve learned the past few months, it’s that you have to do something that makes you happy and that you should listen to your heart. I could’ve go for the job (because to be honest, it did seem fun to me. That’s why it was a hard choice.), but if I can’t continue with my business, at the end I wouldn’t have been happy at all. Sometimes you need to make hard choices, to keep following your dreams. My mind tells me yes, my heart tells me no. Eventually I’ve listened to my heart. This experience made me realise what I want and how I don’t want it. My way to my big dream isn’t easy and it’s not going as how I wanted or planned it, but I don’t give up. I don’t dare to freelance fulltime yet, but when I have an extra job, please let it be one what I can combine with this. And the big trip to Asia, it will come eventually.
Keep doing what you love, even if it’s sometimes hard!